Last Updated on by Michael Brockbank
I’ve always been a writer. At the age of nine, I was hammering out stories on my grandpa’s old Underwood typewriter. And I can still smell the ink ribbon. However, it wasn’t until eight years after I started my career as a professional writer before I published a book.
I was 45.
Now, it’s not that I didn’t try at an earlier age to get published. I was 12 when Double Day turned me down. But I really didn’t get the ball rolling for myself until I became a successful freelancer.
What Prevented Me from Publishing Earlier?
I’ve been interested in publishing a book for nearly 40 years. Unfortunately, I have a habit of getting in my own way. It’s the same story for a lot of people, actually. The difference is that I never gave up, even though it took me much longer than I would have liked.
So, what slowed me down for several decades?
Lack of Knowledge
First, I really didn’t know what I was doing. Sure, I loved to write, but I never put much effort into learning the ins and outs of producing great content.
Starting as a freelancer helped tremendously, mostly because it gave me a chance to learn a lot of what I needed to do to make clients happy. Not only that but it also contributed greatly to building confidence in myself.
Essentially, my writing career at Textbroker opened the floodgates of what I wanted to learn.
Second, I didn’t put a lot of effort into learning what it takes to get published. CreateSpace piqued my interest back in 2013, which was changed to Kindle Direct Publishing shortly thereafter. But I didn’t bother putting a lot of time into the process.
Part of why I didn’t put in time to learn centers around the next few points. They all kind of worked in conjunction with one another to keep me from really following my dreams.
Nowadays, my thirst for learning as much as I can about blogging and self-publishing fuels everything I do. Since I love helping others, this gives me a chance to do two things at once. Never stop learning and continue to grow regardless of how you start.
Prioritizing Everyone Else First
One thing I am still guilty of to this day is taking time away from myself to make sure everyone else is safe and sound. In fact, I often put my own needs aside even if strangers need help or a fan needs to talk.
Of all faults to have, this one isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in the grand scheme of things. However, by not prioritizing my wants and needs at all, I kind of kept myself in limbo since the early 90s.
Today, I try to balance my needs with those of others. That’s part of why I maintain this blog and the YouTube channel. Both of these platforms help fill a couple of “needs” while giving me a chance to help others simultaneously.
Everything I learn about blogging, self-publishing, and freelance writing goes into the blog posts and videos. I’m working on a database of information that helps bring in a bit of cash while also giving others insights to help them develop their own writing strategies.
It’s not selfish to care for yourself and make you a priority. The more successful you become, the easier it is to help others along the way. You need to address your wants and needs, which can contribute to a better lifestyle later. Realize that you are the most important person in your life.
Didn’t Push Myself Hard Enough
For the longest time, I really didn’t believe I would ever have a published book. Yes, I had hopes and dreams, but none of those matter without action behind them. And because I really didn’t see much of a future for myself as a writer, I never pushed myself as hard as I could have.
It was easier to just keep working for the government instead of continuing to improve my writing when I was denied by Dragon Magazine in 1997. Why worry about a potential improvement when I had a guaranteed career and paycheck?
Back then, I was making quite a bit of money and could have easily spent time learning and growing as a writer. But I didn’t think I had much to offer, considering so many people and platforms turned me down. And since I still had a paycheck coming in for a job I loved, there was no reason for me to push harder.
Well, why didn’t I start writing books when I began my writing career in 2012? At that time, I was working a full-time job at the school district while trying to balance Textbroker work. After I quit the school district, I focused mainly on selling articles.
It wasn’t until 2016 that I started to work on separating the author from the freelancer. But then I had a hell of a depression strike at that time and things kind of fell apart, as noted in A Freelancer’s Tale.
You can’t wait for something to just fall into your lap. That’s not how the universe works, no matter how much you try to “manifest” it to happen. You need to push yourself to achieve the things you want in life. This could be anything from cutting back on distractions to going all-in to see your plans through. Not everyone is going to fall ass-backward into success.
Feeling Like a Fraud (impostor syndrome)
Perhaps the greatest of my demons is one that I still have to battle on a daily basis: impostor syndrome. In my case, it’s constantly feeling like a fraud and that I’m not really good enough to do the things I want to do.
It was much worse when I began writing in 2012. Regardless of what clients said about my work, I still felt that I didn’t deserve praise.
Well, after working on myself and objectifying my success, I no longer feel that way about my professional work. You don’t have a 99.946% acceptance rating after nearly 5,600 articles by sucking on Textbroker.
That’s not including all of the clients who loved my work on WriterAccess, Fiverr, or direct private jobs.
However, I still feel like a fraud sometimes when it comes to my fictional work. Despite praise from successful authors and fans, I still have a hard time believing in myself and what I offer.
Impostor syndrome can take away from accomplishments and prevent you from seeing some amazing opportunities. And I’m constantly working on overcoming it. But it’s not something that can be fixed overnight.
I’m getting better at believing in myself. I wouldn’t have been able to attend Read Between the Stars or Worldbuilding 101 as an author otherwise. But from what I’ve experienced thus far, there’s a whole new world that opens up once you start listening to fans and not the demons.
A lot of authors don’t believe in themselves enough. I see it all the time on social media, even by those who clearly have talent. But if you want to get the most out of your writing career, you gotta learn to quell those demons and see your worth. It’s not going to be an instant fix, but you’ll notice the differences in the world when you start to build confidence in yourself.
I’m a Work in Progress
Books aren’t the only thing you can label as a WIP. We are all works in progress to various degrees, and success comes down to how often we work on those faults.
In my case, I have no intention of throwing in the towel or listening to the trolls. I may have a lack of faith in myself in many ways, but I’m also very tenacious. I’ll keep trying until I make something happen because I never give up.
I know that I’ve overcome every demon that has jumped in front of me, and I will continue to do so. It’s kind of a weird contradiction if you think about it. I have a lack of faith in myself as an author, but plenty of faith in myself when it comes to self-improvement.
That’s one of the reasons why I’ll keep doing what I do despite having a bit of impostor syndrome. Deep down, I know that I’ll overcome this demon as well. And it’s getting much easier with each passing day.
My point to all of this is to demonstrate that just because you feel like a fraud or have a lack of faith in yourself right now, doesn’t mean that it’ll always be that way. As long as you’re willing to work on it and build your level of confidence, you’ll overcome your demons, too.
Just bear in mind that it’s not going to be a quick and easy fix. It can take years of constantly battling the negative thoughts in your mind about yourself. But once you gain footing, you’ll find the battle easier to manage.
Never Shortchange Yourself
A lack of faith in what you offer will undoubtedly hold you back in many ways. From not charging enough for what you provide to not feeling good enough to apply to certain jobs, it’s easy to sidetrack yourself from your goals.
Focus on the things you’ve accomplished rather than the failures you perceive. It’s all about knowing your worth and building faith in yourself.
- An Evening with Gary Kidney on After Hours - April 7, 2025
- Fixing a Dead Blog: March 2025 – A Bit More Growth - April 5, 2025
- Master the Art of Writing: 19 Expert Tips to Help New Authors - March 31, 2025