It’s Thanksgiving, and I’d thought I would just crack out an editorial of sorts. I doubt this will get a lot of attention, but it’s more for myself than anything. Sometimes it’s difficult to see the silver lining when the dark cloud is so massive. But if I’m being honest with myself, am I the one fueling that cloud?
The Importance of Being Honest with Yourself
Why is it so difficult for some people to express honesty with themselves? I know a lot of people out there relish in setting up a pity party simply to illicit sympathy from others, but is that truly being happy? In many cases, it’s the individual that starts the negative ball rolling.
Let’s take a look at myself. I am nowhere near being at the place I want to be in life. Although things are starting to look up, it’s still difficult to get motivation or inspiration to do what needs to be done.
I know how to get where I want to be, I just don’t seem to act on that knowledge. So, maybe this post will help me sort out my demons.
What am I Thankful for This Year?
The hardest part about coming up with a list of things I am thankful for is being honest with myself. I have no greater critic than myself, and I can be awfully cruel when I want to be. So, lets set that aside and really dig into the positive I have in my life.
First and foremost, I am thankful that I returned to Colorado to be with my girls. The boys are late teens and have their own life, so I don’t blame them for not wanting to spend time with me or talk on the phone. After all, I didn’t do all that stellar of a job when they were growing up.
Not that I had much choice, but that’s a story for another time.
When I lived in Los Angeles for six months, it was difficult. Since my daughters were born, I’ve never spent more than three days away from them, and that’s when I was camping with Dad for Father’s Day.
I am glad I’ve returned to Colorado so I can be with my daughters, even if it’s only on the weekends because they live on the other side of the state.
My Retaining Client
Having a retainer from a major web hosting company to write content is incredible. They help secure my ability to pay the bills and keep myself fed. I love the content and enjoy writing in any form.
Even though we butt heads now and then on certain practices, we have a good working relationship. I’ve had one of the most amazing experiences of my life because of the company and look forward to 2018 with optimism.
For the most part, I have literary license with what ever I create. While there are a few guidelines to follow, it’s nice to know I can spread my proverbial wings a bit when writing. As a freelance writer, I don’t have a permanent position. But it’s been an incredible ride.
My Ability to Adapt
One of my most prominent traits many of my family members point out is my ability to adapt quickly and keep my composure. With the exception of my severe mental crash in 2016, I can take things rather well.
It took a boiling point beyond what a star could produce before I blew up. We’re talking super-nova-type, here.
Since I am being honest with myself, I am good at keeping things in perspective. I just have a severe problem with committing to schedules and staying motivated to succeed.
I’ve always been one to do “just enough” to keep the bills paid. Being satisfied with life such as it is doesn’t take much. Now I am getting to the point where I am tired of just surviving. I want more.
Can I adapt to that new way of thinking? It’s getting there. But I still have a long way to go before I can call it a success.
Yes, I am still going toe-to-toe with a lot of demons at the moment. But like the Winchesters, I’m taking ’em down one by one. And staying in the fight is all that really matters.
Never give up, never surrender.
One of the biggest things I am thankful for is my family. In fact, I don’t know a single person who isn’t supportive in one form or another. I come from an apparent family of writers, as my sister and mother are published, and everyone is happy and healthy.
Although we’ve had our differences in the past, we still managed to find a good place. My grandmother beat cancer for a second time, my brother is getting his life back together while dealing with a psychopath and my dad is finally on the right track.
When all is said and done, things are looking pretty OK at the moment.
My Best Friend
I am thankful I have such an incredible best friend. She is the mother of my daughters and a good person to be around. While we may not be a “couple” today, we still have a unique connection – and I don’t trust anyone more.
I am being honest, here. Sometimes even good connections are simply not enough to keep things together. Things happen that we just could not get beyond. That doesn’t mean we have to hate each other. On the contrary. In many ways, I still love her, but not in the way she needs.
We were both to blame for the problems that happened. However, going through a mid-life crisis really didn’t help matters. When I crashed, it was spectacular. But my best friend still stands with me, even though we are apart.
And for that, I am eternally grateful.
Finding the Positive in Your Life
Being honest with yourself helps you identify the good and bad. It’s all in how you deal with those gremlins which cause mayhem. Although I am still not in the best head space, there is still a lot in my life that helps me continue.
Don’t dwell on the past. Learn from it and move along.