Not everyone gets to do what they want in life. A lot of us will settle on jobs that are menial or mundane in order to keep the bills paid. It can be difficult to get out of that rut, but it’s possible. Too many of us will roll over and give up on our dreams for the sake of a stable job, children or even a lover. However, none of those things are truly holding you back. It’s your decision to quit is what prevents success in the things you love.
Success is Earned, Not Given
While it’s true that some of us have an innate ability to succeed at almost anything we put our minds to, most of us have to struggle. Take myself, for example. I am no where near where I wanted to be at 40. Do I wallow in self-pity, or do I stand up and decide that this is not what I wanted? It took me almost a week, but the pity-party is over.
I know what needs to be done in order to get more out of my lifestyle. I am a great ghostwriter, but I want to be more. Have I done anything to change that? No. Instead, I make excuses as to why I can’t accomplish writing on my own. I am so stuck in my comfort zone that I don’t want to try and get out. That needs to change. Here are some of the things I experience, perhaps you can see a reflection within yourself.
Lack of Motivation
I know that I spend too much time watching Netflix or sitting in silence at my desk throughout the day. It’s this lack of motivation that prevents me from finding that level of success that I long for. I don’t know if I’m waiting for some miracle to happen or whether I’m waiting for an email that will change my life. To be honest, I have no idea why I can’t motivate myself to change things. I need to find that perfect groove throughout the day that can help me accomplish my goals, though.
Like I tell my children, there is a difference between excuses and reasons. Excuses are what you come up with in order to justify an action, or lack thereof. A reason is a legitimate cause. For instance, to say that I can’t write because I am too stressed is really an excuse. I can still find ways to reduce my stress and focus on writing. Instead I wallow in the argument that I am just, “too busy” to put in the effort. In reality, I’m not too busy. While my mornings are non-stop work, I really don’t do anything after 3pm but watch Netflix or perhaps play a game or two.
Fear of Rejection
Most of us have a fear of rejection regardless of circumstance. It’s the whole, “what if I’m not good enough” mentality that prevents me from going further. I have never been one to take rejection very well. When I was younger, I became suicidal after being fired from a job. I’ve never been fired before and didn’t take it very well at all. Looking back, I know that it was quite silly. However, the fear is always present in my day. What if I write something that nobody likes? What if I put all this energy and effort into something and it becomes a waste?
For someone like me, this kind of a fear is quite real and difficult to overcome. However, success will never happen if you stay in this mentality. How will I know if people don’t like my work unless I publish it? You will fail 100% of the times you do not try. If no one likes my work, then I either have to figure out how to fix it or move on to something else I excel at. Wallowing in it will serve no purpose except to waste what little time I have left.
How Do I Face My Demons?
Change is difficult for many people. I know that change is important, especially if you hate your current life like I do. It shouldn’t be a scary situation, but more of an adventure. You never know where things can take you unless you try. Let’s tackle each of the above points and see if I can come up with a plan to boost my success.
This is the most difficult thing for me. I have rarely been motivated to succeed at anything. Sure, I’ll start out strong and accomplish a lot in the first few weeks. But then the motivation dissipates and I begin making excuses again. So, what can I do to stay the course this time?
- Make and stick to a schedule of my day. I really don’t do anything for approximately five hours.
- Find a focal point. Find something I want and post it next to my desk to keep me going. I won’t be buying a Tesla at my current level.
- Set daily goals of what I want to accomplish. However, they need to be realistic. Otherwise, I could get discouraged when not accomplishing them.
I have too many excuses that I fall back on throughout the day. I don’t know if I am looking for sympathy from others or if I am just that freaking lazy. In either case, it needs to stop. This one I have no idea how to prevent other than trying to make a conscious effort to eliminate that part of my behavior. I’ve been doing it for so long that it’s become quite natural. Perhaps I could:
- Realize my day in full. Understand that there is more time that I am purely wasting away.
- Identify why I try to make excuses why I can’t do something.
- Stop putting things off when I could simply do them now. This way, I won’t have an reason to make excuses in the first place.
For the most part, I view failings as a way to learn how not to do something. But, being bipolar really affects this aspect. If I fail on the wrong day, I easily sink into a severe depression and begin questioning everything in my life. It drives my wife nuts. So, how do I face this demon?
- Realize that you’re really rejecting yourself when you don’t try.
- Keep the mindset that a failing is nothing more than a learning experience. As long as I can take something away from the experience, it’s not really a failure.
- Understand the possibility for complete and utter success if I put in the effort.
- Consider medication or something that can help me keep my depression under control. It’s getting more difficult to keep this annoying genie in the bottle.
How Do I Feel Today?
Today, I feel like there is nothing I cannot do. I love feeling this way, and need to try to duplicate it every morning. It’s this sensation that I need to hold on to. If I don’t change my life, I will constantly be stuck in the same rut day-after-day hoping for a miracle. I cannot do this anymore. It’s time to make a difference in my life. I don’t want to spend the next 40 years doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result.
Perhaps it’s fate that prompted the daily word today as unstoppable. In essence, it’s exactly how I feel this morning. Perhaps it is the foods I ate this week or maybe it was spending a day reflecting on my life yesterday. Regardless of how, I am now ready to face the next 40 years with a fervor to accomplish my goals. I’m not going to let my inner doubts talk myself into thinking I cannot succeed. It’ll be tough as I am manic-bipolar. I just need to maintain focus.